How to Support a Friend Going Through Litigation of Domestic Violence and Divorce
- Shivangi Deshwal
- Sep 30
- 3 min read
Litigation for domestic violence, intimate partner violence, or divorce is not just a legal journey. It is an emotional one that can take years. Survivors often feel they are fighting on multiple fronts at once: against their abuser, within the courts, and inside themselves. Friends can play a crucial role in helping them feel less alone.
Here are some ways you can support a friend who is in the middle of this process:
1. Listen Without Judgment
Your friend may need to repeat their story many times. Each time, they are making sense of their reality. Instead of offering solutions right away, give them space to speak and simply affirm their feelings.
2. Believe Them
Litigation often makes survivors feel disbelieved or doubted. Simply saying, “I believe you” or “I trust what you are saying” can be deeply grounding.
3. Offer Practical Help
The process can involve endless paperwork, court dates, and travel. Small acts of support, like accompanying them to hearings, helping with childcare, or bringing food, can ease the burden.
4. Respect Their Choices
Survivors may make decisions that you do not always agree with. Remember that they know their situation best, and part of support is respecting their pace and choices.
5. Encourage Rest and Self-Care
Litigation drains the body and mind. Encourage them to rest, eat, and take breaks from the case when possible. Invite them for a walk, a meal, or a gentle activity that reminds them of life outside the courtroom.
6. Stay Consistent
Litigation is long. Many friends drift away over time, leaving survivors feeling abandoned. Showing up regularly, even in small ways, can mean more than grand gestures.
As a friend, your presence matters deeply. Listening, believing, and standing by them are powerful forms of support. But sometimes, survivors also need a dedicated space where they can process their emotions, release the stress their body is holding, and slowly reclaim themselves.
How My Sessions Help
In my feminist social work practice, I create a handholding space for survivors who are still in the middle of litigation. Each session offers:
Gentle Listening and Validation: A space where survivors can speak freely without judgment or pressure.
Grounding and Somatic Practices: Simple body-based exercises to calm the nervous system during hearings, waiting periods, or moments of overwhelm.
Reclaiming the Self: Support in remembering that they are more than a litigant, more than a case file, and more than the violence they endured.
Practical Coping Tools: Easy techniques that survivors can use in daily life to find steadiness and relief.
A Gift of Support
If you know someone going through litigation and want to support them in a deeper way, you can gift them a free first session with me.
Use the code: HEALINGTOGETHER
How to Apply the Code
Reach out to me through [shivangi@deshwal.com/this website/Instagram DMs].
Mention the code HEALINGTOGETHER when booking the session.
I will schedule a free, no-obligation session for your friend, where we can gently begin with listening and grounding practices.
💜 Final Thought
Litigation is long and exhausting, but no survivor should have to go through it alone. As a friend, your presence matters. And by gifting a supportive session, you can remind your loved one that they are not only surviving, but also worthy of care, healing, and hope.
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